Lauren just came over.
Lauren has been my best friend since year 5, that's a good 5 years now, and since then we've had our ups and downs, just like any relationship. But of late I've felt like she's been slipping away.
I guess there's been some rivalry between us throughout school academics; Lauren on one hand deserves what she achieves, myself however, I tend to bludge my way through to A's and B's.
Recently I scored first place in Geography, even though I didn't complete an assignment. I lied to the teacher and told him that it was misplaced by a subsitute teacher. He took my word, and I was awarded an average mark based on my previous scores, thus taking first place in geography. Lauren, who had been recieving marks similar to mine, but not alongside mine was coming second. She had completed all assignments however, and if it wasn't for my averaged mark, she would have come first.
She knew I had lied to the teacher, and I told her in class not to tell Sir, about it. She took this as an offense to the loyalty of our friendship and from my yellow cowardliness. Since then, it had been itching at her. Out of guilt, I tried to tell the teacher that I would prefer to do the task again, rather than to recieve an average mark.
But that's not really being brave either. I should have just told him from the beginning of my big fat guilty lie. (I think that's the main reason why Lauren is upset)
So, the other day I'd left some comments on her facebook messages and profile. I happened to be quite angsty at the time, and that tone had crept into my comments. She wasn't too impressed.
Twenty minutes ago now, Lauren spontaneously came over. She told me of the severe issue she had with geography. "It's not that I care about not coming first, it's just that I feel that you haven't supported me enough." She sort of spoke quite ambiguously, as she does when ever she has a point to say. She then complained about the comments I had left her...
I'd been in a slump since the death of Vynnx, angst between my parents and I and the feeling of isolation that holidays give you so I'd said;
"Where are you?
Need to talk and such.
Tried ringing home yesterday, I got your dad.
You're never online."
She told me that I made it sound like it was her fault. I think it's hard for my generation to translate tone through social networking sites, text messages and MSN without the addition of smileys.
See If I had wrote:
"Where are you? O:
Need to talk and such.
Tried ringing home yesterday, I got your dad. :(
You're never online. :("
Would it have sound less.. insulting? I can see where she's coming from though. My abruptness via short precise sentences does sound cranky. Mind you, at the time I was lacking complete motivation to sound cheerful.
I'm not going to try and back up my faults with excuses, though I do feel that the disrupt emotion between Lauren and I has been played on both sides. After a conversation of crying, apologies, and hugging, she said that all I need to do, is pick up the phone. She told me that she was still there for me. Mind you, my call wasn't returned when I'd rung her last and I don't text.
I think, with the issue of our parting friendship, she too could try and involve me in some of the group activities that she does. But that's in the past now.
